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Monday, July 09, 2012,10:59 PM
" It’s crazy to think about sometimes how all of us, even the most put together of us, are comprised of layers upon layers of experiences that once broke us, cracked our shells; about how we’re constantly mending ourselves, gluing ourselves together so we can remain in one piece and keep going forward for some reason. Underneath the outer layer we’re these coarse tangles of fears and mental blocks and sense memories and the older we get the more they just build and build. Sometimes we want nothing more than to be able to “let go” and leave the past in the past where it belongs, but these things imprint, in a way. They brand us. We can’t get rid of them and we wouldn’t be ourselves without them.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger but it also makes us f-cking tired.
We promise ourselves we’re going to stop letting ourselves get hurt. We wrap ourselves in impenetrable cocoons, or we try to. But it doesn’t really work that way — as much as we want to become immune, become untouchable, we can’t be: the world still wants to play and we can’t really say no. We’re just as fragile and breakable as we’ve always been; we just have more layers on this time around.
Of course, someone somewhere always has it worse. And I’m not going to say everyone deserves some sort of medal for getting out of bed in the morning. But damn it, when you think about all this weight that piles up on us, and all our different coping strategies (some adaptive, some not so much), and the scars we accumulate throughout our lives (everyone has them) that make us all the interesting damaged messes that we are; the way we individually experience loss and heartbreak and nothingness and push through it, we’re doing a pretty good job as humans. We do things. We go to work. We go to school. We do the laundry. We breathe. We function.
We grieve and we pick ourselves up and adapt and keep going. "
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger but it also makes us f-cking tired.
We promise ourselves we’re going to stop letting ourselves get hurt. We wrap ourselves in impenetrable cocoons, or we try to. But it doesn’t really work that way — as much as we want to become immune, become untouchable, we can’t be: the world still wants to play and we can’t really say no. We’re just as fragile and breakable as we’ve always been; we just have more layers on this time around.
Of course, someone somewhere always has it worse. And I’m not going to say everyone deserves some sort of medal for getting out of bed in the morning. But damn it, when you think about all this weight that piles up on us, and all our different coping strategies (some adaptive, some not so much), and the scars we accumulate throughout our lives (everyone has them) that make us all the interesting damaged messes that we are; the way we individually experience loss and heartbreak and nothingness and push through it, we’re doing a pretty good job as humans. We do things. We go to work. We go to school. We do the laundry. We breathe. We function.
We grieve and we pick ourselves up and adapt and keep going. "
Saturday, June 30, 2012,5:36 PM
Hi, I'm still alive and kicking.
p/s: bad photo quality.
Thursday, April 05, 2012,4:04 PM
My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you're relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day, or maybe more. Just because it was not hurting you doesn't mean you did not notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while, but it takes time.
Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain.
Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain.
Therefore, move on and let go.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012,2:24 PM
And life goes on..
First of all, let me say thank you to one and all for your kind words and concern. They did, and do, help a lot.
*
"In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”
– Robert Lee Frost
Life doesn't stop because we are hurting, it goes on because we are healing.
She's gone, but the love is still here. People die, but love lives.
For this moment, I can find solace in that.
Regardless of what happens, life goes on, and so do I.
Don't worry, I'm fine now. ♥
Back to track - Work ;)
Sunday, February 19, 2012,8:30 PM
In loving memory of my Grandma
A part of me had gone missing the day she left..
My grandmother passed away on Valentine's Day, the 14th of February.
She passed away in her sleep and in the hospital.
I never thought I would see my grandma pass away, just because I didn't want to see her go; she left. Peacefully.
She was in her late 80s.
And I had lost one of the most important people in my life.
I felt broken.
Maybe part of me thought she wouldn't die.
Couldn't die.
She was always a litte more than human to me.
But I suppose she was mortal, like the rest of us, after all..
And maybe that's a beautiful thing.
I still remember.. I went to her house once every week for most of my life.
But now she has a new home, in a place I can't visit.
Someday, though, I'll find my way there.
Because no matter how much I love life, I won't live forever.
And maybe that's a beautiful thing, too.
"A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again. '
- Author Unknown
So till we meet again, grandma..
Goodbye grandma, my love.
You were the most amazing grandmother. Ever.
I love you.
p/s: I just hope time will make her absence more bareable.
